Review of ‘Really Real Teenz!’ at The Yard

Really Real Teenz! is on at the Yard, Hackney Wick, 11-14 March, 7pm. £10.


Really Real Teenz! gouges open narrative linearity and spatiotemporal normativity and throws the audience into a pit of flashing discards. I can think of no other way to explain the blasting extremity of this play. Before anything has happened, while the audience is still wandering in, the stage is twisted by a silver rectangle that forces you to turn your head, tilting weirdly to find some idea of rectitude that becomes more and more ridiculous as the six teenagers on stage tear apart all expectations.


The scenes are long and slow, with powerful silences prizing the wound further and further open. Everything is smashed, ripped into a gaping silence, as the actors climb into the stalls, throw tampons at a clear wall encaging them with the tantalizing spectacle of the other side, masturbate animals that ejaculate their own flesh, and confess the hectic pressure of burgeoning minds trying to form solidity in the perverse horror of contemporary politics.

Noises and feelings are angrily removed, silences snapping into scenes, arguments erupting across huge abstract spaces (as a blogger berates Kim Kardashian), at one point an actor even demanding to the tech team that the music continue. Meanwhile everything visual is hyper-spectacular: flashing, revealing, tight, plastic and wet. This is contemporary capitalism as seen from inside its oily plastic heart, and these six people are smashing it all to shit. It is bizarre, confusing, sometimes hilarious, sometimes appalling, and absolutely, magnificently thrilling. Image result for really real teenz

Some of the scenes are very interesting and profoundly analyse problems of life that seem strikingly prescient, but some are slightly more predictable and come across as repetitions of early avant-garde non-narrative physical theatre. But still, the actors are very impressive, doing well their job of terrifying the adults in the room and violently disrupting the gaze of the adults who think themselves superior to the kids on stage.


It’s a fucking weird show and it will freak you out. So it must be seen!


Really Real Teenz is made by The Famous Lauren Barri Holstein and the performers: Holly Gibson, Maria Kayum, Hasan Patel, Lamesha Ruddock, Alex Uzoka and Rumi Wolf.